Conversations with Teenagers

Those of us who have, had or work with teenagers know how hard it for adults to have a conversation with a teenager. We often perceive that they are avoiding a conversation, and usually we would be right. Teenagers, and tweenagers, often avoid conversations with adults for many reason. The top three reasons are that they fear the conversations is going to go somewhere they do not want to go; the topic does not interest them; and, the questions are not specific enough for them to understand what the adult really wants.

The best way to communicate with teens, and tweens, about important things is to help them become comfortable with conversations. Communication is important because it is the hinge-pin of any relationship. A great way to get started is for the adult and youth to sit down and ask each other questions that are interesting but not too deep - after all you down start digging a hole at the bottom. Here are some suggestions to get started

Questions to ask your youth (with a follow-up question)

What is your favorite movie and why?
What have you seen in a movie that you’ve copied?
Who are you most like in your family and why?
Who are you least like in your family and why?
Who do you wish you were?
Who are you glad your not?

Questions for youth to ask parents (or other adults)

Who were your best friends growing up and why?
Are you still close? Why or why not?
What about your childhood would you like me to experience?
What about your childhood would you like me to avoid?
Did you ever give up on something like a sport, an instrument or learning something new?
What was it and why did you give it up? Did you regret it?