Conversations with Teenagers

Those of us who have, had or work with teenagers know how hard it for adults to have a conversation with a teenager. We often perceive that they are avoiding a conversation, and usually we would be right. Teenagers, and tweenagers, often avoid conversations with adults for many reason. The top three reasons are that they fear the conversations is going to go somewhere they do not want to go; the topic does not interest them; and, the questions are not specific enough for them to understand what the adult really wants.

The best way to communicate with teens, and tweens, about important things is to help them become comfortable with conversations. Communication is important because it is the hinge-pin of any relationship. A great way to get started is for the adult and youth to sit down and ask each other questions that are interesting but not too deep - after all you down start digging a hole at the bottom. Here are some suggestions to get started

Questions to ask your youth (with a follow-up question)

What is your favorite movie and why?
What have you seen in a movie that you’ve copied?
Who are you most like in your family and why?
Who are you least like in your family and why?
Who do you wish you were?
Who are you glad your not?

Questions for youth to ask parents (or other adults)

Who were your best friends growing up and why?
Are you still close? Why or why not?
What about your childhood would you like me to experience?
What about your childhood would you like me to avoid?
Did you ever give up on something like a sport, an instrument or learning something new?
What was it and why did you give it up? Did you regret it?

Positive Influence

There are many studies that tell us that other people have a powerful influence on us. A few of those studies tell us that we will often become what others tell us we are. Tell a child that he or she is a good child, praise him for his positive acts, tell her she is pretty and you are proud of her, and he or she will live up to that positive self-image.

Pablo Picasso once said rather immodestly, "When I was a child, my mother said to me, `If you become a soldier you'll be a general. If you become a monk you'll end up as the Pope.' Instead I became a painter and wound up as Picasso." Whether you appreciate Picasso's art or not you will have to admit he had a wise mother. We become what people tell us we will become. If people prophesy success for us then success is probably what we will attain.

We all need somebody who believes in us - somebody who sees us as we could be. We all need to feel loved, accepted, appreciated. Parents and grandparents can do this for their children and grandchildren. However, ff you do not have such a person in your life, step out and make one. Develop a Christian friend who will help you become all God wants you to be. And remember that Jesus Christ loves each and everyone of us!

A friend loves at all times, and kinsfolk are born to share adversity.
Proverbs 17:17