Violence in Schools

There have been three school shootings in the last week and our children are asking questions and expressing fears. Sometimes its hard to talk with our children about these things, mostly because our parents most likely did not have to talk to us about them. Here are some tips from the Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory about how we should respond to our children’s questions with age-appropriate answers.

Children five and younger need to be sheltered from violent media images. It is also recommended that they do not watch TV news. They have difficulty separating a shooting on television from the events of their daily life and may be upset by graphic images. But if preschoolers are exposed to images of graphic violence, give them brief, simple explanations using examples they understand. Avoid using euphemisms. The concept of death may be more comprehensible to very young children when explained in terms of what is absent. For example: When people die they do not eat, talk, or cry. Also, young children will be reassured by nonverbal communications such as demonstrations of physical affection and adherence to a normal routine.

Children ages six to 12 should watch the news with their parents, who can use this shared time as an opportunity to talk about their children's reactions and feelings. Parents can reassure children that school shootings rarely happen, and that their school is safe. Parents can also take this opportunity to discuss the importance of their children making friends with all other children, rather than ostracizing, teasing, or bullying unpopular ones. Parents can stress how important it is for children to talk to adults about signs of anger or unhappiness they may observe in their classmates. Also, parents can explain to their child that they will take an active role in continuing to improve safety conditions in the child's school by going to PTA meetings and talking to the principal.

Parents of high school students should discuss with them the consequences of using violence to resolve conflict. High school students should be encouraged to take an active role in their own school by joining with other students to work against violence. They should be encouraged to develop such activities as peer-based conflict resolution and mediation programs, student council, and Students Against Violence Everywhere (SAVE). Parents should invite their high school youth to attend PTA meetings to assess safety needs in their school. High school students, like younger students, should understand the importance of avoiding cliques, which can alienate unpopular students, as well as the importance of helping adults identify students who are a potential risk.

While these suggestions do not address all the concerns raised by violence in the schools, they are a good place to start. There are also some links on the right to help you and your children explore these issues.