Talking with Children about the Virginia Tech Shootings and Other Violent Events

After the recent shootings at Virginia Tech, children will have questions and concerns about this event. Compiled below is some information gleaned from several sources.

1. Listen to children. Allow them to express their concerns and fears.

2. Regardless of a child's age, the most important thing you can do is to reassure children of safety and security. Tell children that you, their school, their friends and their communities are all focused on their safety and that those around them are working for their safety. You many need to have discussions about those who protect us such as police, firefighters, teachers and other school officials, neighbors and all concerned adults throughout the community.

3. When discussing the events with younger children, the amount of information shared should be limited to some basic facts. Use words meaningful to them (not words like sniper, murderer, etc.), nor violent descriptive words (such as killed, bloodly). For younger children, do not go into specific details unless the child brings up the topics, and then give the less information you can in order not to add to the stress they may already have.

4. School-aged children will most likely ask, "Can this happen here, or to me?" Do not lie to children (because you will lose their trust). Reiterate how the community is focused on working to keep everyone safe in the community.

5. Adults should be cautious of permitting young children to watch news or listen to radio that is discussing or showing the situation. Most of them can not really process this information. Personal discussions are the best way to share information with this age group. Also, be prepared and plan to discuss this many times over the coming weeks.

6. When discussing the events with preteens and teens, more detail is appropriate, and many will already have seen or heard news broadcasts. Do not let them focus too much on graphic details (nor on the weapons and techniques). Instead, encourage them to talk about their feelings and concerns. Focus your discussions on what they share with you. Also, be careful of how much media they are exposed to - especially in this age when one can watch a news channel for hours. Talk directly with them about the tragedy and answer their questions truthfully.

7. Although preteens and teens are more mature, do not forget to reassure them of their safety and your efforts to protect them. Regardless of age, all children must hear this message.

8. Be on the lookout for physical symptoms of anxiety that children or youth may demonstrate. They may be a sign that a child, although not directly discussing the situation, is very troubled by the recent events. Talk more directly to children who exhibit these signs such as: Headaches, Excessive worry, Stomach aches, Increased arguing, Back aches, irritability, trouble sleeping, breaking from routines, withdrawal, increase in clinging behavior, nightmares, and refusal to go to places such as school.

9. Adults should often reassure children that they will be protected and kept safe. During tragedies like this one, words expressing safety and reassurance with concrete plans should be discussed and agreed upon within the family to provide the most comfort to children and teens.

10. If you are concerned about your children and their reaction to this or any tragedy, talk directly with their school counselor, family doctor, or local mental health professional.

Easter Cookies

A couple years ago, I discovered a recipe for Easter Story Cookies. I was intrigued with the idea and decided to try them out. What a wonderful opportunity this presented to further teach our children about Easter.

The ideal time is to begin this recipe on Saturday, the day before Easter. However, one could do this any time between the Saturday before Easter and Penecost and still be in the season of Easter. I also believe anytime is a good time to teach children about our Risen Lord, so don't worry if it is not within the Easter season.

Items
1 cup whole pecans
(For those who have tree nut allergies, one could use hard pretzels.)
1 teaspoon vinegar
3 egg whites
pinch salt
1 cup sugar
zipper baggie
wooden spoon or a wooden meat hammer
duct tape or packing tape
Bible

Preheat oven to 300*F.

Place pecans in zipper baggie and let children beat them with the wooden spoon or hammer to break them into small pieces.

Explain that after Jesus was arrested he was beaten by the Roman soldiers. Read John 19:1-3.

Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 teaspoon of vinegar into the mixing bowl.

Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross he was given vinegar to drink. Read John 19:28-30.

Add egg whites to the vinegar. Eggs represent life.

Explain that Jesus gave his life to give us life. Read John 10:10-11.

Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste. Then put your pinch of salt in the bowl.

Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus's followers, and the bitterness of our own sin. Read Luke 23:27

So far, the ingredients are not very appetizing! Add 1 cup sugar to the bowl.

Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because he loves us. He wants us to know and belong to him. Read Psalm 34:8 and John 3:16.

Beat with a mixer on high speed for 10 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks form.

Explain that the color white represents the purity in God's eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus. Read Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3.

Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered cookie sheets.

Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus's body was laid. Read Matthew 27:57-60.

Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF. Give each child a piece of tape to seal the oven door.

Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed. Read Matthew 27:65-66.

Leave the kitchen. If you've been making these cookies just before bedtime, GO TO BED!

Acknowledge that the kids are probably sad that they've worked hard to make these cookies, and now have to leave them in the oven overnight. Explain that Jesus' followers were in sad when Jesus died and the tomb was sealed. Read John 16:20 and 22.

On Easter morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Ask the kids to notice the cracked surface. Have them bite into the cookies. The cookies are hollow!

Explain that on the first Easter morning, Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty. Read Matthew 28:1-9.

HE HAS RISEN!