Teenage Rebellion

We all know that teenagers are notorious for being rebellious. But is it an important, natural phase? I believe so. When I think about my teenage rebellion (not cutting my hair and wearing clothes that my parents would rather me not wear) I see how important it was in my develop as an adult. My wife also tells of her rebellion which took the form of not wearing her school uniform correctly. While these examples are clearly rebellion, they did not really harm anyone and helped us develop our self awareness. So why do teens rebel and should we let them?

1. Teenagers have a need for independence. Letting teenagers rebel in areas that are not really big deals (such as keeping their rooms clean, growing out their hair or cutting their hair) helps them begin to feel that they’re capable of self-sufficiency. This doesn’t mean that as parents we should just stop asking them to clean their rooms - it would not be rebellion if we did let them know it bothers us. Also, the less strict the parent, the more outrageous the rebellion has to be in order to get the reaction the teen is trying to get from you.

2. Teenagers need to practice making decisions. Lesser harmful types of rebellion still result in consequences that help teenagers learn to make better decisions. Home is the safest place for kids to fail and get back up on their feet again. (I finally cut my hair due to one too many people calling me a “young lady.”) However, I do believe that rebellion such as drug use or harmful influence on others does require appropriate, stricter consequences.

3. Teenagers need to know that you have confidence in them. When you offer confidence in your teenager’s decisions, rebellion may become unnecessary. Assert your support for whatever decision he or she makes, even if it’s not your choice, while encouraging your teenager to include God in the process.